Randomly, I found myself listening to the This American Life episode that we participated in. It's hard to believe it's been a year since we pressed the button on our EPIRB that changed our life in such a dramatic way. There of course is all the bad stuff: the loss our Rebel Heart, the mini-media-storm, and the temporary speed bump in our sailing plans.
But there's been a lot of good too. A line was cut with scalpel level precision between friends and fair weather acquaintances. We're much more tuned into our sailing style and our new boat goals reflect it. I saw such an incredible outpouring of decency that I was literally humbled to speechlessness from fellow sailors, friends, and people I've never even met.
I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions.
I will most likely be dead in 50 years: it's a cold hard reality. Our children, within 15 years, will be either fully living independent lives or very much on the road. I don't have a lot of time to feel bad about things or lament about what could have been. And I don't have a single nanosecond to entertain the misgivings that random people may have about my life.
What I can learn from the past, I try to. But the past can quickly can turn into fruitless speculation and endless second guessing, all while sand continues to run out of your life's hourglass. So what I've really learned, and what I've really been doing, is thinking a lot more about the next year then the last. The past as they say is the past, but the future has yet to be written and indeed is the only canvas you can paint on.
On a parting note, this is a video from our Pacific crossing that's never been seen. I stumbled across it from an old video card. We were a few hundred miles off of Mexico, becalmed. I think this is when we were about five or six days out. And this is what 99% of our sailing memories are: us as a family, together, adventuring around with smiles on our faces.